Family Matters

Islãm stresses the importance of unity amongst Muslims and amongst family.

Marriage

Marriage is viewed as the second most important asset after faith, and when looking for a marriage partner, one is encouraged to look for a person's faith and character rather than be taken in by beauty, wealth or social standing, as these may not last. Premarital sex is forbidden and so are 'living together', 'common law', 'trial marriages' and 'temporary unions'; these are not regarded as family in the Islamic sense. Marriage is intended to provide a secure basis to build family life on. Muslim marriages are usually arranged in the sense that the couple are introduced through friends or family, but they are not forced marriages: the consent lies wholly on the individuals whether they feel attracted or suited to each other or not. During a marriage the Nikah ceremony is performed by an Imam or the father. There is usually a simple dowry, which is given as a gift to the bride by the groom. This is followed by an agreement by the two parties and the signing of the Nikah papers.

Normally this is followed by a celebration meal called a Walimah where relatives, friends, and, in more traditional societies, anybody living nearby or hearing of the marriage may attend, bring gifts and pray for the couples success. Food, clothing and money are usually distributed amongst the poor in the community. There are diverse cultures in Islam, reflected in a variety of ceremonial habits.

Children

Children are seen as a seal of a marriage and a blessing from Allah. The responsibilities of raising these children lie with both the mother and the father. They have to be brought up according to the teachings of Islam and taught to be obedient and respect their elders. Usually when a child is born they are given a taste of honey or sweet dates known as Tahnik, and the Adhan is read to them in both ears. A male child has to be circumcised, preferably at an early age.

The Elderly

As far as possible, the elderly are taken care of in their own homes. Children normally support their parents the same way they were supported when they were weak and vulnerable. It is a duty upon families to look after the elder members of the family and to treat them as part of the larger family unit.

The elderly are looked up upon for advise, support and care for the younger members in their household.

Relatives

Relatives form the wider family unit, and are very important for the pastoral care of the individuals. Relatives support each other at times of bereavements, hardships and happy occasions such as marriages and births. They are to be trusted in child or money matters, and they strengthen the beliefs and morals of a family. A well functioning family gives stability to the whole community.

Wider Community

The wider community, finally, is seen as an extension of the wider family. Children are encouraged to address strangers as uncles and aunties, and everybody should feel responsible not just for their own, but also for the children of strangers. The key concept of the Islamic community is Brotherhood and Sisterhood. In a Hadith of the prophet Muhammad (pbuh) the community is described like a wall where each brick supports and strengthens the other. Another description is that of a single body where the whole body reacts with fever if any part of it falls ill.

Polygamy

Under certain conditions (for example, a surplus of unmarried women after a war) Islam permits the marriage of one man to up to four women, provided that he treats all of them equal. As this condition is difficult to meet, polygamy is the exception, rather than the rule.